[ Descopera ] Want to know if a man truly loves you? Ask him just one question

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Love is a feeling that millions of lines have been written about, but understanding how sincerely your man treats you is sometimes more difficult than it seems. However, one question can shed light on his true feelings and attitude towards you. This method does not require complex actions or guesses, but it does require your sensitivity and attention to the answer.
 

Ask him the question: “What do you think I should be like?”
 

At first glance, this question may seem simple. However, its power lies in its ability to penetrate deeply into your partner’s subconscious and reveal their true perception of you. The answer can reveal a lot about their values, level of maturity, and most importantly, how they really feel.

 

First answer option: a list of qualities, as in the catalog

If a man, without thinking, starts making a list of qualities that he thinks you should embody, his answer might look something like this:

 

• You should always be well-groomed, fit, as if you stepped out of the pages of a magazine.
• Feminine, but at the same time thrifty, gentle, caring and sexy.
• Be sure to take an interest in his hobbies and be liked by his friends and family.

 

This list may seem endless, as if he is creating a portrait of the ideal woman he thinks you should be. This answer suggests that he does not see you as an individual with your own characteristics, but as a kind of project that needs to be “finished.”

As the famous psychologist Carl Rogers noted  ,  "love is, first of all, the ability to see a person for his essence, and not for your own expectations."  If your partner tries to fit you into their standards, this is not about love, but rather about selfishness.

The second answer is: “Be yourself.”
If a man smiles and says,  “You should be yourself, because that’s how I fell in love with you ,” then you are dealing with a person who perceives you as a unique individual.

This answer shows that he loves you not for your external attributes or compliance with any standards, but for your essence. For him, you are not only a beautiful shell, but also your inner world, your energy, your strengths and weaknesses.

A man who accepts you completely, values your individuality and supports you in being yourself.

 

The deeper meaning of these answers

 

1. The first option  is a projection of his expectations. Such a man most often looks for a partner not as an ally, but as a fulfiller of his fantasies about the ideal.
2. The second option  is unconditional love, based on maturity and acceptance. In such relationships there is less toxicity and more mutual respect.

 

What should I do based on his answer?
If his answer is the first type, ask yourself: Are you willing to live up to someone else's standards for the rest of your life? Talking to him can help clarify your next steps.

If it is the second option, then you can only congratulate yourself - you are next to a person who sincerely values you and respects your individuality. He will not try to fit you into a framework, but on the contrary, will be inspired by your uniqueness.

As relationship researcher John Gottman noted  ,  “Happy couples are those in which partners view each other as allies, not as objects to be improved.”

 

Love as it is

Love is not an equation where you need to decide who should “add” or “take away” something. It is a deep and tender feeling that does not require change, but acceptance. One simple question can become a litmus test in your relationship, but remember that strength is in your ability to hear and understand what is said.

 

Full article : www.beamgirl.com